By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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