Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
