i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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