He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
