The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
