Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
