found the other keg... it's in the tree
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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