you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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