Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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