Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
