I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
