would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
