A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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