More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
