You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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