You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
