So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
