Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
