The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
