He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
