ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
