I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
