i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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