My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
