is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
