i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There are leaves in my underwear?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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