Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
