....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
No stitches, just platelets and will power
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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