did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
