Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
