Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
