i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
