Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
