our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
