i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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