He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
