I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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