NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
