It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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