and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
