HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
