you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
