so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
