that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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