I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
