Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
