Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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