TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
