Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
