Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
