The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
