We're like a lot better than the average bears
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
